ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS LISTEN UP.
YOU SEE THAT SHIT UP THERE THAT’S FUCKING CHOCOLATE LAVA CAKE
DO YOU WANT TO MAKE A CAKE COVERED IN HOT GOOEY CHOCOLATE FROSTING IN LESS THAN 15 MINUTES?
THE CORRECT ANSWER IS A VIKING WAR CRY AS YOU CHARGE INTO BATTLE.
STEP 1: COMPLETE A VIRGIN SACRIFICE. (SATAN MUST BE PRESENT BECAUSE THIS CAKE IS SO DELICIOUS IT’S PROBABLY A SIN.)
STEP 2: PREPARE GENERIC BOX CAKE RECIPE ACCORDING TO BOX DIRECTIONS. BACK TO THE CLASSICS MOTHERFUCKER. MIX USING THE SPINE OF YOUR ENEMIES.
STEP 3: POUR INTO A LARGE MICROWAVESAFE CONTAINER (LARGER THE BETTER, BUT IT NEEDS TO BE DEEPER THAN THE MARIANAS TRENCH FOR OPTIMAL LAVA)
STEP 4: TAKE A SMALL TUB OF GENERIC FROSTING FROM YOUR LOCAL SUPERMARKET OF SIN. SWIPE A MACHETE AROUND THE INSIDE OF THE TUB LOOSENING THE WHOLE TUB FROM THE SIDES AND PLOP INTO MIDDLE OF YOUR CAKE BATTER. DO NOT MIX.
STEP 5: PUT INTO MICROWAVE FOR EIGHT MINUTES AND SET THE TABLE USING CHINA YOU RAIDED FROM WEAKER VILLAGES.
STEP 6: REMOVE FROM MICROWAVE AND LET SIT FOR ABOUT THIRTY SECONDS. THIS IS BEST SERVED MOLTEN LAVA HOT ACCENTUATED WITH THE TASTE OF BLISTERS ON YOUR TONGUE.
STEP 7: GET A SERVING DISH WITH A LIP THAT CURVES UPWARD SO LAVA DOES NOT OVERFLOW AND PLACE UPSIDE DOWN ON TOP OF CAKE AND FLIP OVER.
STEP 8: LIFT SLOWLY, COOKED CAKE WILL SIT ON PLATE AND LIQUID FROSTING WILL SPILL OVER SIDES.
STEP 9: CELEBRATE WITH VICTORY SEX.
STEP 10: EAT.
IF YOU’RE ONE OF THOSE GORGEOUS FUCKERS WHO DON’T ACTUALLY LIKE SEX, YOU CAN SUBSTITUTE WITH AGGRESSIVE CUDDLING OR NEON-COLORED POST-IT NOTES FULL OF ADMIRATION FOR SOMEONE’S EXISTENCE.
did fuckingrecipes just equalize this post for the asexual population gallifrey bless fuckingrecipes
Is it weird that I read that whole thing in harley morenstein’s voice?
I told you to KILL A VIRGIN and you’re worried that that is weird
the second time i tickled her face and she replied “learn from your parents mistakes and use birth control.” then my little cousin went up to me and said “ummm…whats b irth control?” i didnt know what to do so i just told him!
so i was on this dumb app called talking angela when i tried to see what would happen if you smack her so when i did she said “i made a poem for you, roses are red, violets are blue,i have five fingers, the third one’s for you!” i was soo shocked that that was a kids app!!!
I don’t care if everyone says he was a horrible person. I don’t believe that. No, he wasn’t perfect. He wasn’t a paragon. He was human. But he was a storyteller. No, he was the storyteller. And as a storyteller myself, I can’t help but love what he has begun and thank him for all that he did.
So yes. He’s my hero.
hes mine too becuase if he was such a terrible man, why would he create so many awesome movies where u dont even have to be a kid to enjoy them? and dont answer back to this unless u know hes your hero because if you hated him u wouldnt be on any disney blogs right now(which is most of tumblr).